TOW #1: A Bully Does His Research by Jesse Eisenberg

In the piece A Bully Does His Research, found in the New Yorker website, Jesse Eisenberg, an actor that surprisingly writes for the blog section, addresses the true underlying pain that a bully can inflict. The article is a satirical inner monologue from a bully who begins the day by taking another student’s lunch money, then gets scolded by his teacher, is suspended by the principal, and tears down his father on the way home from school.

The unique thing about this bully’s inner monologue is that the bully doesn’t think like an actual person would. Instead, Eisenberg incorporates the victims’ views within the thoughts of the bully. For example, when the bully is confronted by the teacher, he or she responds with: “Yeah, I know you wanted to go to RISD since you were my age, but you couldn’t get in and now you’re stuck teaching sixth-grade science. Well, boo-hoo-hoo!” (Eisenberg). The ambiguity of the bully’s words illustrates the meaning throughout the passage. A bully would not actually say any of these things, but when someone is being bullied, all of the suppressed pain in a victim’s life seems to be at the forefront of his or her mind.

In every confrontation, the bully seems to know the exact source of pain for the victim, and he or she exploits it. No real bully would be saying things like: “thanks for the ride home, Pops! Is it nice to pick me up in the middle of the day, or does it highlight the fact that Mom’s the one with the real job?” (Eisenberg). At the very end, the bully is staring at his own reflection while he is locked in his room. Eisenberg then writes the inner monologue of the bully attacking himself. He ends with, “if no one likes you, you could remain in that safe little bubble? Bite me!” (Eisenberg). 

Through this utilization of satire, and a full circle ending, Eisenhower proves his purpose that many bullies can exploit some of the most painful things in a person’s life; however, they probably ridicule themselves internally as well. This simple and tasteful blog post shows any reader the true thoughts of both the bullied and bully, and therefore, it can help just about any age, gender, or type of reader to overcome this daunting problem.

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